Hey...yeah its been a while...
I'm sorry! It's just life has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been in the right frame of mind for blogging. Its only now things have calmed down and I have had a chance to take everything in. So here's what you've been missing...
Exams! This May and June I took my GCSEs which are very important. The whole year we have been told this was the most important year of our short 16 years on Earth. So no pressure right? Wrong. There was a huge amount of pressure and sense of do or die. Or more like pass or your life is over when its barely just begun. But I got through it somehow.
See the cruel thing about the education system is up to Year 9 school is fairly unimportant and nothing significant really happens. Then in Year 10 you are thrown into the dungeon of exam and future building stress. You enter at age 15 and some don't leave until their early 20s. Soon after all my GCSE exams were over I was reminded about how I have to start the process all over again with my A-levels. More exams, more assessments, more judgement of whether you are good enough. As if it wasn't bad enough the first time round, we go round again on the carousel qualifications hoping one day to get off this ride and all our hard work will pay off in the real world.
For now no school or any kind of education. I have very long summer ahead of me. I don't have loads of things planned. I enjoy the simple things in life with no pressure, schedules and expectations. I enjoy the freedom of not having to do anything or be anywhere. Of course I'll do things and try and make the most of summer but you can't force these things.
In terms of my mental well-being. I'm doing a lot better than earlier in the year. I'm currently in cognitive behavioural therapy and on medication. They seem to be helping. I don't regularly partake in any nasty habits and I don't have dangerous reoccurring thought and urges. I'm doing more as well especially socially. I go to parties now which is very exciting. The first one I went to was the after-prom party. Long story short me and Ella acquainted ourselves with the right people, made good friends and now we are part of a friendship group again. But this time they are mostly boys!
There was been no lack of chemistry in our newly formed friendships. Ella my best friends is dating Jordon. I am dating Gideon who is Jordon's best friend. Yes you read that right, I do have a boyfriend. I have managed to get myself into a relationship with a very lovely young fellow. We seemed to have lost our other friends but it hasn't hit us too bad. We are much too fascinated with our new situation. Things are very exciting and busy and strange. So much has changed in a matter of months even weeks. I'd say all the changes are for the better but it is a shock to the system.
My only issue now is the separation of me and my very first boyfriend. Even though Gideon has been brought up in the UK his parents are Malaysian. Therefore Gideon and his mother are taking advantage of the long summer totalling almost 3 months, to go back to Malaysia. Unfortunately I won't be seeing him for 6 weeks. Far too long especially when for the whole month we have been together we have pretty much seen each other every other day. Plus there is a 8 hour time difference so communication will be a little challenging. So this is the first test of our relationship.
I will end with a prom photo:
Lots of Love,
Becca
xx
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